foodwinesex

California King

foodwinesex. What a juxtaposition. Clubland one night and the California version of a Great Gatsby party the next. LW was invited to an engagement party. Her tennis buddy met her betrothed in a Starbucks only six months ago. A whirlwind romance ensued...flight to Paris...engagement...5 carat ring. (Both sides have plenty of money.) The party itself was held at the home of the parents of the soon-to-be-bride. To call this a house would be a dramatic understatement. Mansion gets closer. It sits on a huge piece of property with dramatic 360 degree vistas. Mount Diablo is almost close enough to hit with a golf ball.

LW looked great. I arrived at her place in Pleasanton at about 6:30 in a dark grey Armani suit, a grey Armani pullover shirt and very pointy Paul Smith shoes that I picked up in London a few months back. The creative guy summer uniform. The evening was warm but nothing like the weather we had last week. She has a big, beautiful suburban home with more room than might be required for a single mom with a daughter going off to college this fall. (Sound familiar?) We had a glass of wine (she drinks very little...she says her face turns red when she drinks and I had to do a face check later in the evening) and talked about work. She explains their new engineering methodology and is shocked when I know all about it. Extreme engineering, monthly scrums, etc. She was wearing a shear cocktail dress...something akin to a leopard print with a tiny hammered-metal square above her breasts that pulled it all together. Beautiful, smooth legs and arms, she wore her hair down. She's Asian and had subtle blonde highlights running through her hair. In combination with the dress she appeared exotic in a way that I couldn't geographically pinpoint.

We drove to the party in my car with the top down. It was about 15 minutes away in Danville. I felt like I was pulling up to a hidden hotel when we arrived. An attentive parking team took care of the car and we realized we were an early arrival. It didn't take long, though, for hundreds of well dressed (pretty formal) to begin arriving. Lots of gowns, suits, beautiful hairdos. Food was everywhere. Flowers ringed the patio and pool areas. The mood was festive and classic swing music was gently flowing from the speakers. A bartender kept the crowd amiable. (Drank a red I hadn't seen before called Rear Ridge. Nobody knew anything about it and I haven't found anything on line. Might be a custom label. Maybe a private label from Pine Ridge which would explain why I liked it.) We met lots of people. I knew none of them, LW knew a few. We were social enough to keep engaged and everyone was certainly friendly enough. Good crowd. As the evening progressed we took a table with another of LW's tennis friends and her husband, a piano teacher and salesman. He and I clicked on the whole music thing. Ah...a foursome. A bit of a breeze came in and cooled off the day. LW's dress was very light and I offered my jacket. Grateful, she wore it all evening.

Dinner, buffet style, was served very late but what the hell, its Saturday night and this was a big event. The food...at least four styles of rice including an interesting variation..small sheets and chunks of the kind of rice that usually ends up on the bottom of the rice pot...we usually think of it as overcooked but seasoned makes a great dish. Salmon, lamb, chicken, all kinds of salads, cheese, on and on. We both got way more food than either of us could eat. We followed with a light dessert, a cup of tea and back to her place. We hung out a little while...chatted. Her daughter was clubbing SF and was due back (ironic if it was Mighty).

I was really tired on the way home, dangerously tired. Ran into some traffic congestion due to late-night roadwork on 580. I half considered calling ChP on the way home but that might have been suicidal. Made it in at about 2AM and collapsed.

We all have questions to answer and right now things are very strange and fascinating. I feel like I'm living somebody else's life and I suspect it'll be like this until I discover what I really want. I also suspect Monday's gonna be a rocky day.

g.

Joe we hardly knew ye

foodwinesex. I've finished an entry written entirely about oral sex but deemed by too many folks as provocative. Fact is, not enough people know what to do or how to do it well. I'll leave it at that. (Not surprisingly, every person advising me not to post it - which was every person I spoke with about it - asked for it to be sent to them privately.)

Dinner with BK again last night. We had reservations at Bix for 8:30. What a disappointment. We were there early, sat at the bar and enjoyed a cocktail (I had the Hangar One Fraser River Raspberry Vodka martini with a twist...awesome.) We let the staff know we were there early...and again at 8:30 and several times later. They were understanding and brought several appetizers to placate us. At 9:05 we left and I was annoyed enough that I won't go back. (Michael Bauer writes about this type of restaurant behavior in his blog.) As far as I'm concerned this is inexcusable. We left and headed over to Bocadillos.

Bocadillos is a tapas place just a short distance from Bix. We grabbed a table as soon as we entered. Our waitress was Salpi. As we got to talking Salpi told us that she had worked at Winterland as well as several other places BK and I had recently visited. She was well informed, knew her menu well and was kinda hot. I certainly thought so. (Highly competent people I find attractive...I know, I know.) With some initial guidance from Salpi we ordered the tai snapper ceviche with d'anjou pears, the Painted hills bavette steak with chimichurri, the catalan sausage with arugula and shaved manchego bocadillos and the foie gras roll with serrano ham, mango and aged balsamic. The foie gras didn't work for me. The steak, bocadillos and especially the ceviche were all good. BK was looking for salt and pepper...absent...the steak could use just a bit of help there.

I'd made reservations for tomorrow night for La Folie. I'm going out again with ChP and am really looking forward to it. I realize how little we know about each other and wonder if this it the kind of place she'd enjoy. I quickly make reservations for Supperclub as well and I'll leave it up to her...food or fun. Just want to spend some time with her. I think she knows me only as exec wearing Armani sports jacket kind of guy but not (Ann Demeulemeester) black leather jacket, orange python boots kind of guy. Don't know which she prefers...can't believe I'm even asking this given that I normally wouldn't give a fuck. The whole Blink thing must be fucking with me since I've been a little preoccupied with this all day. The other thing on my mind was some good news I got from my buddy RY. His family (in Spain) has been working on my behalf trying to get reservations for El Bulli...the most exclusive restaurant in the world. They made the impossible happen and I have reservations for 2 for early September. I owe him big.

On the drive in this morning (weather was gorgeous and traffic not too bad on 280) I was moving pretty good and playing the music kinda loud. The Clash came on (Complete Control) and I was instantly flooded with memories of Joe Strummer. I'd seen the Clash live in SF back in 1980. I had all their records and knew their work well. I continued to follow the band through their breakup and watched their careers. In 1986 I began working on a film called Walker (Alex Cox directing his first picture after Sid and Nancy). I'd been contracted to do the Sound Design recording and mixing. Across the hall the scoring sessions began. To my delight Joe Strummer was the composer. My old buddy Sam Lehmer was the engineer which allowed me free access to the sessions. I found myself sitting in on them during down time and got to know Joe pretty well. Early in the sessions he asked me if I knew where to score him some weed. I knew a guy who knew a guy and eventually Joe got what he wanted. Actually having purchased Mendocino semsimillia he got way more than he bargained for. It knocked him on his ass and the partying was moved to after hours. For months Joe worked on the score. He actually lived in SF for a while and I'd see him around town occasionally pushing the baby stroller. I treasure the image...its so unlike the way people think they knew him through his music. Joe died in 2002 due to a congenital heart defect. The music still does what it always did. It moves me.

g.

Going, going, (grab it before its) gone.

foodwinesex. People who know me know I'm a big Giorgio Armani fan. I tend to shop at either Armani or Emporio Armani. I also know that every time I buy a suit, slacks or a sports jacket, the first place I wear it is at my tailor's. Spending a couple of extra bucks on a $1000 suit makes it look like it's worth $2000 (or more). The custom fit results in a more comfortable wear. Of course the ultimate are hand-made bespoke suits. Such a suit is usually very expensive and takes at least one (and sometimes several) fittings. It might take weeks or months for the tailor to finish the suit and accompanying alterations. I've recently discovered a new nearly custom-sized wearable for men. I speak, of course, of Condomania's new specially sized TheyFit condoms. These are not truly bespoke - there is no tailor offering a custom fitting (although I don't doubt that this is coming). Rather they have a clever "fit kit". Of course when preparing for the fit kit its best to have a bit of help to prep the sizing and the quality of that help could actually change the measurements (so be careful). Its the 21st century variant on Heisenberg's Uncertaintly Principle. I'll lay claim to this one and just say that the act of being measured effects the measurement itself. We shall see just how the promise delivers.

I was not all-Armani Wednesday night for my final visit to Winterland (black Armani jacket, black John Varvatos shirt, black Armand Basi jeans for the Details oriented...does it get any shallower?). This was the fourth time I'd been to Winterland in 5 weeks (see Winterland and later... from 7/9). Once again, BK joined me but in addition we invited an old friend, AL to join us. AL lives in Las Vegas and only occasionally gets back here to his old stomping grounds. It was great to see him. For the first time I got to see what Winterland looked and sounded like when there were actually more than a handful of people there. It was packed. After cocktails at the bar we grabbed our table and began ordering. The Amuse Bouche was once again a melon soup with lime mousse and a bit of powdered chili. Served cold. Same dessert-like response. Again I ordered the roasted white corn soup. AL did the same and BK ordered the salad (and I didn't get the ingredient details). AL then ordered the ribeye tataki in miso, I ordered the Petaluma Poussin Roasted and BK ordered the Seared diver scallops with pea shoots, snowpeas and lemongrass oil. The wine was an unremarkable syrah. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've had a really good glass of wine yet at Winterland. It seems like the grapes come from "outside the fence".

Change is good...right? Trees that can't bend that get uprooted in a storm (winds of change). Winterland can't make it and closes. AL has another opportunity and moves to Vegas. Marriages end and new relationships begin. What a trip this is. When I began my relationship with X the world was a very different place. Video meant a Betamax. There were no PCs or cell phones. No AIDS. No condoms. No crack. Quaaludes was the party drug of choice. Reggie Jackson hadn't yet joined the Yankees. Now I don't know what's changed but relationships today seem to be very different than I've ever known them. A younger friend of mine characterizes what I'm seeing simply as the women in SF are very aggressive...sex is usually on the first date or the second at the latest. A comment on a recent post characterized me (on the strength of just the one post) of being "boastful" and engaging in "meaningless fuck(s)". She missed the point altogether. I'm looking for some sort of connection. Maybe it starts as "chemical", that is a relationship where we start off feeling good together physically and moves quickly into exploring each other emotionally, etc. As I've said in the past, I'm not interested in starting another family...no later-life Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle. Been there, enjoyed it, done. In looking for somebody near my own age I'm finding confident women with lives of their own...with extensive sexual experience, knowing what they want and like...not dependent on men dominating the sexual agenda. They also have been through the whole family thing and have come out the same end as me. Some are looking for the same kind of connection as I seek. Some just want a fuck. Still-prevalent sexual mores lead some into assuming I'm some sort of middle-aged Lothario on the make for ever more pussy. Happy to report that the world...at least the world I'm seeing...doesn't work that way. Every single date I've been on I've seen the woman as what might be characterized by some as the "aggressor". I know this fucks with preconceptions...especially (I find) with younger folks in established relationships. Sorry kids but that's the way it is out there today. Maybe its the fact that women aren't looking to become pregnant...ubiquity of condoms and awareness of risk...familiarity with and appreciation of good sex...realizing that we only come through this world one time and we should enjoy what we can while we can. There...I've said it. We only live once. What are we waiting for?

g.

I love LA (we love it!)

Back at the gym again this morning. Can't miss a day...the discipline is one of the reasons for being there. The post-workout endorphin buzz is another. When I re-entered the dating world I decided that I didn't want to be embarassed when I took my shirt off. A fourth benefit came as a bit of a surprise to me. The week before last I was with B. I lifted her off the bed and flipped her over in a fluid motion with one arm. Wow. I don't plan on missing the gym again.

BK is back in town after a week and a half with the family in Oregon. CH is off to a friend's wedding in Amsterdam and the two of us are at dinner at Firefly. Gives us an opportunity to knock another restaurant off Bauer's Top 100. I got there first, sat at the bar and ordered a glass of the Sunstone Syrah, Santa Barbara. Nice big red. Chocolate, tobacco, long finish. BK arrived a moment later and we sat to order. Our dinner conversations tend to stay away from work issues and focus on food, wine, sex, women, the nature of relationships, restaurants, sports, music, technology, philosophy, books, etc. Firefly was, as BK characterized it, a good neighborhood place...good for families but not much of a singles scene. It is a temple of comfort food with good wines and a guy behind the (wine only) bar who knows his stuff. I started off with White Corn and Pasilla Pepper Chowder with Polenta Croutons. Great soup. The corn was, if anything, a bit undercooked...crunchy and very fresh tasting. Well done. For the next course I went with Grilled Pork Rib Chop with Spicy Porter Jus, Bacon, Grilled Corn off the Cob and Creamy Grits. This particular chop was good...better than Nopa, not as good as Town Hall. (A brief aside...JK assures me his experience with the Pork Chop at Nopa was very different than mine. "I had it. Was fantastic. While not huge, it was still very moist and tender. Really just perfectly cooked. Any less it would have been too rare." I must have just been there on an off night. I'll give it another shot.) BK ordered the Firefly’s Old School Meatloaf with Crimini Mushroom Gravy, Mashed Potatoes and Blue Lake Beans. By the looks of his plate he liked it quite a bit. Dessert for me was Watermelon-Chai Spice Sorbet and Lemon Granita with Fresh Passion Fruit. Very tasty mix of fruit. BK got the Brebiou Cheese with Almond Crisps, Blueberries and Honey Comb. Firefly is the once-and-done type of place for me.

BK reminded me we have tickets for the upcoming Raconteurs show at the Warfield on the 23rd. He picked them up shortly after our trip to LA over Memorial Day weekend. (Hazy interlude with wild sound effects indicating we are traveling back in time to Memorial Day Weekend.) We headed out of Dodge for a little R&R in SoCal. We ended up staying at the Sunset Marquis. The first morning there I was working out at the tiny gym up in the back by the guest houses and I saw Jack White (of the White Stripes) and Brendan Benson walk by to their cottages. They were dressed in the same outfits as they wore on the cover of their single, Steady, As She Goes...my fave rock single of the year so far. Over the next day or so we saw the band kicking around, doing interviews, etc. Unlike most rockers, Jack White is a big guy. He's gotta be 6' 3" or more. I can see how he might do damage in some of his bar fights that you read about.

Indulging in the full LA experience had us heading out that Saturday evening to LAX, the hottest club in town. I had been assured by Brooke that this was the place to party. Once inside the door we realized that while this was the hip place for Brooke and company, I definitely skewed old here. I'm definitely not looking to party with the beautiful 20-somethings ten deep at the bar. If anything, I'm far more interested in spending time with women much closer to my own age. Boredom set in quickly and we were out of there and heading back to the hotel kicking it in the bar with a dry one.

Sunday in Beverly Hills was sunny and warm. Killing time, BK decided he wanted to buy a suit so we headed over to Armani. As me walked in we were greeted by Alain. I realized there was a pre-sale going on and inquired about it. He asked me how I knew about it (unpublicized) and I assured him I was an Armani guy. He tested me...who was my salesguy in SF? Dude...Dennis of course...you know him? We were in. Now, Alain had some uhhhh...preconceptions about BK and I coming in together. Since it was a bit busy, would we mind sharing a dressing room. Confident in our sexuality we said no problem. Hell...we just left the door open and came and went in various stages of dress. Alain racked up a big sale and was happy as hell when he asked us if he should send everything to the same address. We suggested different addresses. (It wasn't until a couple of weeks later when we spoke on the phone and asked how BK was that I suggested his wife would know better than I. He then asked me what I did for a living and shortly began pitching software ideas to me. Quick on his feet.)

Heading out of Armani, I noticed a Taschen store down the street. Being a big fan of their books we headed in. There was a book signing in the back of the store for Leroy Grannis and his book of surf photography. The store owner introduced himself and we chatted a bit about some obscure design titles. Seeing how much we appreciated his products, he invited us up to the roof where there was a private party in progress. Mexican food, margaritas and lots of beautiful people everywhere. The sun and tequila were lightly toasting everything. Perfect...

g.